Exit Plan

This is Roo-Roo, a.k.a. Roux, Ruby Roux, and “your crappy roommate” to Emilio – also a rooster.

Roo-Roo is a pretty great rooster as far as roosters go. Meets all of the right criteria:

• Fearless

• Defiant

• Runs to protect the hennies from real and imagined dangers.

He’s always leading the charge – crowing defiantly if I pick him up, challenging Squish (the flock’s top roo) at any given opportunity, chasing Emilio (his roommate) on a whim and simply causing all around mayhem. 

He is tireless.

He didn’t start out that way of course. Like all chickens, he was this tiny ball of fluff that won my heart because he preferred to cuddle in my hands than scratch around with the other little peeps. In particular, that is how I would calm him and tuck him in to sleep every night. 

You see, Lollipop (as he was called then) and his siblings didn’t have a hen mama.

They were an Easter hatch for a class of kindergarteners. Their teacher bought some beautiful fertile eggs and placed them in an incubator. Then, 21 days later, like magic, there they were. Peeping balls of fluff for the children to marvel at. 5 out of 7 had hatched.

Two weeks later I got the call – well, text actually. He was done and he was bringing them back. I had sold him the eggs and I was also his exit plan. No rehoming, no raising them for pets or food. No lesson taught in being responsible for another being’s life. Such a wonderful opportunity to plant the seeds of good humans into tender minds lost. Shame.

Truth be told I was horrified – but I had agreed at the onset to take them back after the hatch. In that transaction I learned that it’s common practice for many teachers to do this. They hatch eggs to teach science and then they send them back – totally omitting the lesson in social responsibility. (Insert horrified emoji here.)

Fast forward – almost a year later and I have too many roos in my would be urban farm. I’ve been putting off the inevitable. While I always relish a good soup or coq au vin, I experienced far too much loss last year to take yet another life. Unable – unwilling – to do the deed, my own exit plan was put on hold. I hoped that someone would come along that wanted a good flock roo. No such person ever surfaced.

So today is the day. Roo-Roo will go back from whence he came.

Remembering the cuddles and seeing what he grew into brings a sadness to me. Though we stopped being friends a long time ago, it is with heavy heart that I bring him into this part of the food chain. Still, this is what I signed up for when I opted to raise my own food. It’s just that it somewhat pisses me off that I allowed myself to be someone else’s exit plan.

The Queens Are Dead. Long Live The Queens.

Today was the first time since moving here that I woke up to the absence of the sounds of squirrels. No squirrels knocking down the black walnuts on the tin roof of the chicken coop. No squirrels sharpening their teeth on my wood gate. No squirrels chasing each other. No Squirrels making new squirrels. No squirrels masterminding the takeover of my garden. No squirrels.

I found this to be a relief, but it also made me sad. A relief because getting them out of my yard has been a long time goal so that maybe, just maybe I can enjoy a pomegranate out of my own garden for a change. Sad too. I mean, who will Kiah & Franklin tag team and chase up a tree now?

Truth be told, there’s a deeper sadness. This morning is indicative a greater issue. Humans overtaking the planet and not being at one with nature. I feel that I contributed to that blight – but I digress. Continue reading “The Queens Are Dead. Long Live The Queens.”

text message

I just emailed this to my friend SteveO…


so I am too fried to text you back. LONG day. besides, around the moment you were text messaging me I was being dived at by an obese man in some little flat blue shit of a car. apparently I failed to yield at a “Yield” sign I didn’t see at the PCH/Lakewood traffic circle (I’ve always hated that spot) – totally my fault, for sure –  but a) I didn’t see the sign b) his car was in my blind spot so I didn’t see him. Mind you, for at least a quarter of a mile I had no idea wtf was up with this screwball diving at me in maneuvers that would have likely gotten him killed or put in jail. This was a case of “mi coche es mas grade que tu coche” so you must be high. Convinced of this, I wanted to verify what his deal was.


At some point he had gone from the lane on my left to the lane on my right & conveniently stopped at a red light. I pulled up next to him, rolled my window down and Continue reading “text message”

father’s daughter

22 years and I feel nothing. I didn’t even remember the exact date – but curiosity drove me to go on the internet to see if I could find it a week or so ago. I did. Wednesday, September 10th 1986. The day the relief came, the old fear ended and a new dread took it’s place. But this isn’t a story about the dread. It’s a story about the relief. But mostly, it’s a story about me.

Putting aside the thoughts I have of what “others might think” I just may be able to do a decent job in remembering this – and I should. Something that’s played such a pressing role in the making of “me” deserves to be heard.

So I’ll start over. Wednesday, September 10, 1986 my father died. He was 73 years old. He’d suffered a series of strokes which put him in the hospital. He never got out – and I never visited him. Continue reading “father’s daughter”

From “The World Famous Cathouse” to a… furniture store??!?!?

Yea, that’s it in a nutshell. It just hit me kind of strange is all.

So yesterday I met with a new client for the first time. I had been looking forward to this meeting for the weirdest of reasons. They recently moved from their former location [ironically] on La Cienega to 836 N. Highland. OK, so some of you may actually recognize that address as the one that leant itself to clubs such as The Cathouse, 1970’s, Club Fuck, The Probe, Club With No Name and god knows what others. Personally I have fond.. and admittedly some not so fond memories of many a Tuesday night spent there till the wee hours of Wednesday. Yes, that place is what I will always know and love (for better or worse) as The Cathouse. I never went to the La Cienega incarnation so this was it for me. The be all end all induction into the Hollywood life of love, lust & rock ‘n roll. Well, ok, at least lust & rock n’ roll. Dammmmmmmmmn! Good times. Glad they’re under my belt. Glad I remember them. [Mostly ’cause I was on a budget and drinking to oblivion WASN’T in said budget] Glad I’ve moved on!!

That said, it was a surreal moment indeed when I stood upstairs by where Joseph Brooks used to spin and walked into the VIP area only to be surrounded by some insanely awesome antiques and one of a kind pieces of furniture. Continue reading “From “The World Famous Cathouse” to a… furniture store??!?!?”

Like riding a bike?!?! Seriously?! No, seriously?!?!?!?!? Wow, let’s hope not.

OK, so a couple of weeks ago I FINALLY dug my old beach cruiser out of my mom’s garage, took it to the bike shop & got it it’s well deserved new tires & seat. Being a single speed beach cruiser, it really needed nothing else. Great. So for the weeks that followed I have had said beach cruiser in my car figuring I would venture out one of these Tuesdays after work on the Venice boardwalk… um, yea. Needless to say that never happened BUT that brings us to today. Feeling rather slothful as of late I figured, screw it, I live ON the bike trail (LA River) so I am going to take myself out for a ride.

So as I walked my bike out of my driveway & onto the trail I got a little panicked.. Continue reading “Like riding a bike?!?! Seriously?! No, seriously?!?!?!?!? Wow, let’s hope not.”

good for the soul

some moments are just amazing in such tiny profound ways. i went to the barn in a somewhat obligatory mood. what i mean is, i haven’t been taking the horses out as much as i should [typical for this time of year] and i was feeling compelled to do so rather than WANTING to. my usual riding buddy wasn’t there, and really being in no mood for anyone else i saddled up my mare & took off on my own. Continue reading “good for the soul”

zombies, malls and baby stuff

we all have those things, places or people that at one time or another make us feel uncomfortable in our own skins. either you have one of those friends that speaks all too openly about her sex-capades and throws herself at your date, or you walk into a crowd of people so unlike you that they all turn and stare. yea, weird uncomfortable moments. we all know them.

now i can talk it up with the best [or worst] of them. i’ll happily discuss peoples’ ideas, kinks & fetishes without really batting an eye. i seemingly inspire confessions on some really uncomfortable subjects. Continue reading “zombies, malls and baby stuff”