Category: MySpace Blog Archives

I just emailed this to my friend SteveO…

22 years and I feel nothing. I didn’t even remember the exact date – but curiosity drove me to go on the internet to see if I could find it a week or so ago. I did. Wednesday, September 10th 1986. The day the relief came, the old fear ended and a new dread took it’s place. But this isn’t a story about the dread. It’s a story about the relief. But mostly, it’s a story about me.

Putting aside the thoughts I have of what “others might think” I just may be able to do a decent job in remembering this – and I should. Something that’s played such a pressing role in the making of “me” deserves to be heard.

So I’ll start over. Wednesday, September 10, 1986 my father died. He was 73 years old. He’d suffered a series of strokes which put him in the hospital. He never got out – and I never visited him. Continue reading “father’s daughter”

Yea, that’s it in a nutshell. It just hit me kind of strange is all.

So yesterday I met with a new client for the first time. I had been looking forward to this meeting for the weirdest of reasons. They recently moved from their former location [ironically] on La Cienega to 836 N. Highland. OK, so some of you may actually recognize that address as the one that leant itself to clubs such as The Cathouse, 1970’s, Club Fuck, The Probe, Club With No Name and god knows what others. Personally I have fond.. and admittedly some not so fond memories of many a Tuesday night spent there till the wee hours of Wednesday. Yes, that place is what I will always know and love (for better or worse) as The Cathouse. I never went to the La Cienega incarnation so this was it for me. The be all end all induction into the Hollywood life of love, lust & rock ‘n roll. Well, ok, at least lust & rock n’ roll. Dammmmmmmmmn! Good times. Glad they’re under my belt. Glad I remember them. [Mostly ’cause I was on a budget and drinking to oblivion WASN’T in said budget] Glad I’ve moved on!!

That said, it was a surreal moment indeed when I stood upstairs by where Joseph Brooks used to spin and walked into the VIP area only to be surrounded by some insanely awesome antiques and one of a kind pieces of furniture. Continue reading “From “The World Famous Cathouse” to a… furniture store??!?!?”

OK, so a couple of weeks ago I FINALLY dug my old beach cruiser out of my mom’s garage, took it to the bike shop & got it it’s well deserved new tires & seat. Being a single speed beach cruiser, it really needed nothing else. Great. So for the weeks that followed I have had said beach cruiser in my car figuring I would venture out one of these Tuesdays after work on the Venice boardwalk… um, yea. Needless to say that never happened BUT that brings us to today. Feeling rather slothful as of late I figured, screw it, I live ON the bike trail (LA River) so I am going to take myself out for a ride.

So as I walked my bike out of my driveway & onto the trail I got a little panicked.. Continue reading “Like riding a bike?!?! Seriously?! No, seriously?!?!?!?!? Wow, let’s hope not.”

some moments are just amazing in such tiny profound ways. i went to the barn in a somewhat obligatory mood. what i mean is, i haven’t been taking the horses out as much as i should [typical for this time of year] and i was feeling compelled to do so rather than WANTING to. my usual riding buddy wasn’t there, and really being in no mood for anyone else i saddled up my mare & took off on my own. Continue reading “good for the soul”

we all have those things, places or people that at one time or another make us feel uncomfortable in our own skins. either you have one of those friends that speaks all too openly about her sex-capades and throws herself at your date, or you walk into a crowd of people so unlike you that they all turn and stare. yea, weird uncomfortable moments. we all know them.

now i can talk it up with the best [or worst] of them. i’ll happily discuss peoples’ ideas, kinks & fetishes without really batting an eye. i seemingly inspire confessions on some really uncomfortable subjects. Continue reading “zombies, malls and baby stuff”

I heard these lines as mis-quoted by Alan Alda’s character in an old ER episode and I had to find their true author. Not a difficult task with Google & all.

Anyway, the point being is that they rang home with me. Especially yesterday.

While I still haven’t run the horses I did take my Continue reading “The Peace Of Wild Things”

So as this day draws to a close and I settle in for some tea & time wasting the thoughts of the day still swirl around me. 4th of July is a bit of an odd holiday for me. I usually shun the barbecue & beach invitations in a vague, “thank you – but I already have plans” sort of way. The truth is, I do. They’re not grand or festive really. But I have plans. I ALWAYS have plans. Ever since I moved out on my own I have NEVER missed a 4th of July at my moms. Every year I go over in the evening & we sit on the front porch & watch as the neighborhood goes up in whistles, rockets & cherry bombs. Then at 9:00pm, when the air is quite thick with sulfur, the fireworks show at the high school starts. We then take our chairs to the back yard, find a spot on the driveway & watch those.

When I lived there I didn’t hang out with mom, but I would always manage to go to the school with my friends for the show. Tradition. Habit. Constant. Comfort.

This year was no different really – except for an almost palpable fear buried deep in my psyche but present enough for me to see it’s outline. Continue reading “thoughts, mom & the 4th of july”

so there are only a couple of people that may read this that will get it (because they were there too) but it doesn’t matter, this is my little smile for the day.

So I am sitting here at home “working” (I use the term loosely because I have been out of commission for the last 2 days) and all of a sudden I hear a guy say, ” WHAT the fuck was THAT?” That was followed by the incessant clanking of a skateboard and the same guy laughing & saying, “WHAT the FUCK was THAT?!” Continue reading “Nostalgia”

I meant to post this a month ago because the emotion was so raw – but time got away from me then.

Today a little piece of something reminded me of it so I felt compelled to share:

It was the day before Thanksgiving and up until this moment [of my story] I had had a crappy day. Things that could potentially go wrong had. So to close my crappy day I went shopping at Trader’s for my groceries – looking forward to being done, going home and shutting out the world with the closing of my front door. People were in an especially caustic mood – I’m talking rare form rudeness and parking lot rage. I got honked at for waiting for a pedestrian I think. Anyway, as I left the parking lot for a saner space on the side street my usual nihilistic view of humanity took a hold on me with phrases of, “I HATE people”, “Most people should just DIE!” running through my head. In such a mood I went in & did my eventless shopping. Then, on my way back to my car it happened. Continue reading “a bit of everyday Magick”